Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life, it gave me a whole new perspective. To start out my 11 o’clock class was canceled which made me happy cuz I love sleeping in… German is my favorite class, even though my professor is crazy, I guess that’s what makes it so much fun! Then I played for about 3 hours then went to dinner. After that, we went to the Tuesday Night Thing, which was absolutely amazing. I felt like a completely new person after I left, I thought about where I was at the beginning of the semester compared to now and I was so glad I moved in the right direction.
I went back to my dorm room, talked to some friends and then started seeing a bunch of posts that said “RIP Murph”, at that moment I started breaking down. I couldn’t believe I lost 6 close friends, that we around the same age as me, in the past 2 years, it seemed so unreal. Then I thought about the other people that passed away and there was another 10, one of which was only 50. I sat in my bed for a while not knowing how to process everything, so I just cried and prayed. I decided to go on a walk and 2 of my friends joined me. I was thinking that entire time about the different memories I had with all of the friends I lost, and tried processing the whole situation and understanding death... which honestly I don't know if I have figured it out yet.
In the last 10 minutes of our walk, I thought about what Pastor Andy asked us during TNT. He asked, “How many people wanted to go to Heaven?” As you probably would guess pretty much everyone raised their hand. His second question was “How many people would like to go to Heaven today?” The number was significantly less. I was in the group that did not raise their hand when he posed the second question, I know heaven is probably a whole lot nicer than Edinboro, PA but I would never want to leave my friends. I then went back to my room and someone wrote on his Facebook saying “I’m sure the view from heaven beats the hell out of mine here. and if we all believe in heaven, maybe we'll make it through one more year down here.” I was blown away when I read this because it was exacting what we were talking about and what I was pondering part of the night. I couldn’t believe what I just heard 5 hours before would be something I would need so quickly.
I still don’t think I would want to swap my life on earth for Heaven, because I love my friends so much. At the same time, God has his reasons and I need to constantly remind myself that I have no control over the stuff he does, so whether I like it or not I’m gonna have to accept it... I continue praying that God helps Murph's family as they struggle with his loss and for everyone who knew him,so we can all praise his life for what he has done for us...
Sry if that didn't make sense... I just kinda write what I am thinking at the moment and I'll go back in about a week to remember what I was thinking and how I over came the tasks or the problems I was having...
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